Losing weight is complicated, getting healthy is a life long journey. I know that many of you may follow me on other social media networks and may see the things I post. Among them, yummy treats like homemade cookies. And you may or may not ask yourself "Isn't she trying to get healthy?"
The answer is simple, Yes. I am trying to get healthy. I am trying to make a life style change but while it may be a simple answer, it is far more complicated than that. I want to make this change slowly. Very slowly.
I am not good with change, especially when it comes to my body. I hate the attention that weight loss brings. Crazy? No. While I love how I feel when I am healthy and at a smaller size, I hate the attention that it draws from people around me.
I hate the compliments and I especially hate the male attention. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Kinda ironic since I am always posting pictures and really put myself out there? Right?
But this all stems from my abusive past. Having the weight on me is like a shield where I blend into the background. Where I don't get noticed. When I start changing, I kinda freak out.
I know, I need lots of therapy. But just admitting that, is a big step for me. It is something that I need to work at. I know that by writing about this, here every Wednesday, it will help me to dispel my demons.
Don't get me wrong, I love myself. I love myself enough to know that I need to do better by myself. That I need to start healing within before I even start healing on the outside. And it is a work in progress. Slow baby steps.
So, I still enjoy a treat from time to time. Because depriving myself didn't work in the past. It only made me want whatever it is that I could not have. Funny the way our subconscious works, huh? And sometimes I still have a bad day because at the end of the day, I am still human.
Mini goal update:
I did well with my Love thee Self challenge! So well, that I want to incorporate it to my everyday life. I need those positive affirmations everyday.
Mini goal for next week:
Late night eating. This is a hard one for me. I always get hungry late at night, so I want to make a conscience decision to stop the snacking. I think this is going to be a hard one, but I know I am ready for the challenge. Ekk!
The answer is simple, Yes. I am trying to get healthy. I am trying to make a life style change but while it may be a simple answer, it is far more complicated than that. I want to make this change slowly. Very slowly.
I am not good with change, especially when it comes to my body. I hate the attention that weight loss brings. Crazy? No. While I love how I feel when I am healthy and at a smaller size, I hate the attention that it draws from people around me.
I hate the compliments and I especially hate the male attention. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Kinda ironic since I am always posting pictures and really put myself out there? Right?
But this all stems from my abusive past. Having the weight on me is like a shield where I blend into the background. Where I don't get noticed. When I start changing, I kinda freak out.
I know, I need lots of therapy. But just admitting that, is a big step for me. It is something that I need to work at. I know that by writing about this, here every Wednesday, it will help me to dispel my demons.
Don't get me wrong, I love myself. I love myself enough to know that I need to do better by myself. That I need to start healing within before I even start healing on the outside. And it is a work in progress. Slow baby steps.
So, I still enjoy a treat from time to time. Because depriving myself didn't work in the past. It only made me want whatever it is that I could not have. Funny the way our subconscious works, huh? And sometimes I still have a bad day because at the end of the day, I am still human.
Mini goal update:
I did well with my Love thee Self challenge! So well, that I want to incorporate it to my everyday life. I need those positive affirmations everyday.
Mini goal for next week:
Late night eating. This is a hard one for me. I always get hungry late at night, so I want to make a conscience decision to stop the snacking. I think this is going to be a hard one, but I know I am ready for the challenge. Ekk!
I am so happy to read real weightloss journey. I love that you are honest and that you share that it is difficult but not impossible. High five for getting thru a week of positive affirmation! I failed and havent posted my tips on staying positive. lol I have a huge issue with snacking at night too My advice from the past is chewing sugar free gum helps! big hugs!
ReplyDeleteI have to co-sign what Ruby said ^ Thank you for sharing a real weightloss journey. I can not tell you enough how much you inspire me with sharing and doing mini goals. You will get there Melissa XOXO And if you ever need to talk, message me!
DeleteCongratulations on your progress, for keeping a positive outlook and overcoming past trauma. You're a strong woman. Weight became an issue for me after I had my son ten years ago. I got so tired of feeling tired and crappy that I decided to join WW last month. It's been slow going, but slow, like you said, is what wins the race. Healthy eating habits are a permanent lifestyle change. Not a diet. Sending you positive vibes!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your journey with us and for your honesty! You are inspiring me and so many others to change.
ReplyDeleteAnd change doesn't need to be overnight - it's a slow steady process. Keep going!